Menopause Unwrapped: Evolution

This Week's Gift: Finding Your Voice

I hear women at conferences say it all the time. After menopause, they stopped caring what anyone thought. They finally had no fucks to give, everyone snaps and cheers.

I’m sitting there like... that sounds amazing, but I’m still over here second-guessing myself and wondering if I misunderstood the assignment.

Because after sudden menopause, the physical symptoms and side effects hit me like a ton of bricks so surely, I should be the poster child for feeling clear and confident and ready to set ALL the boundaries…But four years into medically induced menopause, I’m still trying to put the pieces to this ever-changing puzzle together.

Instead, my unchecked mental spin has gotten louder. I sent emails at work with the right message but wrong(ish) tone–and to too many people, have exploded on my kids in fantastically epic ways, and have had harder times making decisions. I felt more lost than ever.

So what’s going on? Why doesn’t medically induced menopause come with that instant “I’m done with this” clarity?

We’re on a different timeline

Women who go through natural perimenopause are figuring out the new normal for 5, sometimes 10 years. That can be an entire decade to navigate mood swings, perspective shifts, and self-discovery. By the time they actually hit menopause, they’ve been processing all of this for years. Of course they feel clear when that magic day hits.

The ups and downs of perimenopause- the new relationships with our bodies, navigating new (and at times very powerful) emotions, the dreaded and all too common brain fog- they force us to shift where our energy goes.

With medically induced menopause, we get thrown into menopause overnight. Our bodies changed instantly, but our emotional process? That’s still trying to catch up and with even fewer hormones than a typical post-menopausal woman if you’re also taking aromatase inhibitors (ahem, hormone sensitive cancer survivors). We’re doing a decade of work in fast-forward with fewer protective tools in the toolbox.

So what’s the gift?

I don’t think the gift is instant confidence or perfect boundaries or never doubting yourself again.

I think the gift is that when our bodies stop being reliable, we have to look inward and get reacquainted with that voice that’s desperately trying to recalibrate.

What a beautiful opportunity to meet ourselves again.

Now don’t get me twisted, it’s messy. Like I said earlier, I’ve felt completely lost. But four years in, I’m starting to see changes. I can tell which relationships were great but only meant for a certain season. I’m less willing to twist myself into uncomfortable shapes just to make other people happy. I’m gathering my thoughts (and maybe even a night of hot flash interrupted sleep) before completely unloading on my kids. I don’t talk to ANYONE until after my morning meditation and journaling time. I’m slowly finding my way back to whatever my actual self is underneath all the noise.

It’s happening… just not on the timeline everyone talks about.

Books for the journey

Understanding Your Brain: The Menopause Brain by Dr. Lisa Mosconi and Maria Shriver

Finding Clarity: From Strength to Strength by Arthur Brooks • More Than Enough by Elaine Welteroth • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

Finding Your Truth: The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins • How to Be Enough by Ellen Hendrickson • Don’t Believe Everything You Think by Joseph Nguyen

I want to hear from you

I’d love to know how this has been for you–whether dealing with induced menopause or not, we’re better when we navigate this together. How have your emotional changes reshaped your world?

With love and ongoing self-discovery,

Teyonna

P.S.

I know our newsletter looks a little different this week. Making sure the resources I share are accessible is important to me, so there is some digital construction going on behind the scenes. Thank you for coming on this journey with me, and I can’t wait to check in with you all again on October 30.